#like that was correct actually. good job
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(ಠ_ಠ)☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ
#hhshhsgghs im feeling kinda. sad and disappointed and like.. grieving over a lot of things#but at tje same time it is becoming easier for me to be compassionate w myself#and to trust that things will work out#and that im not running out of time#& im proud of some of the decisions ive made as well. like? feeling one way but choosing to act in another and looking bacl on it and being#like that was correct actually. good job#i dont overshare normally but i think that getting older really is so good for you and that therapy works#and im just gonna keep at it. until my heart starts believing in what my brain knows is true#if ur reading this im kissing u . we're all going thru it but i hope u will be ok! 💖
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I am really tired of a situation rn.
#fe three houses#felix hugo fraldarius#me using felix on my angy days because he is my angersona? you bet!#anyway if you want to try to get someones money or something bc you hurt your own car banging into mine#can you try to be a bit more timely with it buddy come on you hit me on feb29 !#why am i getting your insurance company calling me today !#also i would like to point out i didnt do it and neither of us were hurt and i filed a claim with my own insurance comp#and also filed a police report bc he didnt even suggest calling the cops to the scene#so like yeah hey man maybe you and your insurance company can move a lil faster or smth#literally everything that happened the day of is - according to my dad - an intimidation tactic#i look like im 15 and he probably thinks he can take advantage of a new driver but ya know! tough luck!#im just really tired and stressed over multiple things not negative so getting this on top of it was like#bro .................... anyway my phone didnt pick up for some reason so i called back and then nothing got resolved#cause the person who actually called me wasnt around to connect the line to from the guy who answered#idk man just its a lot despite my v minimal energy#got a job interview on monday tho ! and then also next week is an eye exam#and you might be thinking isnt that a good thing to get your eyes checked? you are correct but i am horrified#there are two body parts that give me absolute anxiety and eyes are one of them#and i know my eye sight is declining and im just v anxious#its fine im going to be fine i just have to be anxious about it
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GUYS GUYS GUYS HOLY SHIT BANGER IDEA JUST DROPPED
SATURDAY AS THE ELITE FOUR IN A POKEMON REGION
Idk anything about teams but I've got types kind of
Jon is psychic, Zach is either grass or electric, Angel is either bug or poison and Ruben is fire
#pls tell me one of you nerds is a pokemon nerd as well#i also kind of have a thought process for some of this#i like the idea of bug type angel cause in pokemon games bug is kind of an ass type but angel is a super resilent person#so i like the idea of one of the strongest trainers in the league using the worst type#and yea zach is a people pleaser but no way bro is not competitive as hell#he'll wipe the floor with you and then tell you how good of a job you did and give you tips for next time#ruben just feels fire type for me and has ninetales chandelure and talonflame on his team for sure#hes a “charizard is overrated” fire type trainer for sure#i have actually zero reason for jon psychic it just feels correct#ngl i even think champion jon is a correct take too#but bro for sure has galarian rabidash gothitel and guardivour#he also for sure uses some complex ass strats that pros and peopke actually good at playing pokemon use#i also feel like jons battle would be a double battle#if this gets out#itgo#zach knight#ruben montez#angel phan#jon braxton
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Despite all of his internalized shit Ca$h does not tolerate aphobia from Darren and he's so real for that
#like actually yeah screaming 'well fuck you then' is the correct response good job man#heartbreak high
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brendan saying beard could never be head coach because of personal reasons/having a chaotic mental health/self destructive nature etc bc like. Have you SEEN the other coaches 💀
#beard being too unstable to be head coach like he is the only one who never becomes head coach lmao#have you seen ted. or Nate. or Roy.#beard has issues im not saying he doesn’t but#beard definitely was pulling his weight esp in s2 imo.#we never saw it but like I KNOW. ted wasn’t really focused#nate was spiraling. roy joined halfway through and also wouldn’t coach jamie#beard was the one trying to correct Nate’s behavior and he was going through emotional abuse and still did his job#given by the coaching staff’s concern about him being late to work in bah that like. kinda implies that beard is Never late#like no matter what his night was or what he did like he shows up to work#and he’s actually pretty decent at keeping his work personal life separate#HE EVEN COACHED WHILE HIGH and did a good enough job nobody noticed
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Gonna rewatch Fruits Basket soon so I can finally write that “Shigure is Bastard Man” essay for my friend who, after we finished watching the entire show, said, “I just don’t see how he’s a manipulative bastard. I mean, he’s an asshole, but I didn’t really get manipulative.” May also write some meta along the way about how Momiji is possibly the most mature and emotionally intelligent character in the whole damn show (aside from maybe Hanajima and Hatsuharu) and yes that includes every fucking adult.
Also I will absolutely cry. A lot.
#fruits basket#furuba#fruits basket 2019#shigure sohma#also this doesn’t mean I dislike shigure#I adore him#but he is bastard coated bastard man with bastard filling#my friend was like maybe it’s more clear in the manga but the show didn’t do a good job#and I was like well maybe if you didn’t write it off cuz it’s shoujo and actually payed attention instead of being on your phone#shigure literally orchestrated the entire plot after finding tohru#anyway if anyone has specific examples that I shouldn’t forget lemme know#also momiji is best boy he is my son and I will hear nary a word against him#best girl is kisa I do not make the rules#but I am objectively correct here#viridescent palaver
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I did some lino outfits bc I like dressing him up. Please ignore the fact that he should have 2 flesh legs in two of these.
#idk. something something about one of his castings as an angel worships the parts of him that made him Lino and did nothing to hide them#and the other going out of its way to make him 'normal' while still using the same justifications to call him an angel#anyways his leg wasnt crushed that high up but it needed to be re amputated and shortened a few times#to correct the fuck ups that happened during the last attempt to treat it#Vincents attempt caused him to get a gnarly infection on the bone that made it weak.#Margo was able to salvage that mess but had to take a few inches to clean out the worst of the infection and have enough excess to#close the wound properly.#The first prosthetic he got at The Sun was meant to look like a real leg while not actually being a good prosthetic.#it was bolted directly into his Still Healing bone. Very fancy. That surgery also took a few inches off.#The last one he had to deal with was when he went back to vincent and had a Fun Time talking Vincent through how to do an amputation right#But vincent did actually do a decent job that time and kt wasnt a pleasant but it still like#worked out.#hes like 4 ft tall so he didn't have a lot of inches to begin with. you lnow how it is
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Getting closer, getting really close now I swear (Patreon)
#Doodles#Just Desserts#Villainsona#True Villainy AU#Just ignore how many times I've said that up to this point lol - I'm serious this time!#I always feel so bad designing TVAU outfits because Charm is always so miserable as a model haha#Could this be a contributing factor as to why it's taken so long?? No I enjoy drawing her like that lol#Made some design notes about the important elements of what I want for her True Villain look - more than just ''Her but Kaiein influence''#I'd still really like a nod to dragon scales of some kind but honestly her classic design is more that#Always going on about her spider theming how to make it dragony! It's the one thing I'm still hung up on lol#As for the rest I think it's Really getting close :) I got to actually turn her little ''shawl'' - I always knew it was Kaiein-related -#Into something that properly mimics his shape! It's all controlled by her tho it's not a part of his body - just magic-infused matter#Made to look like him so there's still that creep factor but it's more her body than his - she can control its shape :D#And I got to keep the jewels! Yesss - made it a motif! Now it's also on her hips and knees to break up her visual space yes very good#It's drips :) Y'know - like ink :) Finally figured that one out lol good job setting up my own symbolism me#And then some elegant drapey bits to match her ''shawl'' and continue to break up her space!! Yes! Good!!#I still haven't decided on a colour palette I think black and white is too obvious and too Kaiein but hmmm - she has a lot of colours#Lots of options to pick from but which is the Correct one - her hair would stay pink so maybe some of her pinks or purples#I'll play with some digital swatches later :)#I'm also so glad I could implement the hood design from one of the scrapped outfits ah <3 I love her in a hood she's so cute#I'm rather pleased with the way the spider web design breaks up her form as well - it's more subdued than the full bottom/shoes stripes but#It's also not very clear here lol the long ones that all the way down to her feet are the third from the center ignore that second one#The second lines out from the center host her wings! Very important!#Kinda reminds me of my holosona in a way actually :0 They /are/ both Evil-aligned hmmmm#All the more reason to colour palette! Differentiate the colours in my head#Really do feel like I'm approaching it now fdjsklafd getting close now!!
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people on here are so... uninformed about scottish politics. believe it or not some scottish people dont want independence... there was a whole referendum and 55% of ppl voted to remain in the union. also not everyone in scotland hates being called british, and i know people who refer to themselves as british because of the indyref movement. you dont have to understand you just have to like trust me when i say its maybe a bit more varied in scotland than tumblr would have you believe. lol.
#personally im ambivalent about independence and im not pro-union#but i dont trust the snp to do a good job at all so i wouldnt want independence under them#anyway.#it just pisses me off when non-scots/ppl who dont live here make sweeping assumptions about scotland#people in a country actually have varying views would you believe#also i dont like nationalism and i am kind of averse to labelling myself as either scottish or british i dont really care what you call me#technically both are correct so.#i usually say scottish because culturally that feels more right also people tend to like scottish people#but i dont really mind or care
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Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags
#k talks#weird astrix is because I don't want this showing up in the tag just in case#but I NEED To complain about this book real quick. I love a magical zoo that part was fun but good lord the main character....#I get what the author was trying to do with her arc and I will say the second half of the book is better than the first but Jesus christ#I hated the main character at the start she is SO annoying. not to be mean I know the whole point is her overcoming her anxiety#but like. I swear to God every two pages was just oooh I'm so awkward I'm such an introvert I'm such an awkward scrawny turtle!!!!#like CONSTANT. even worse though she's mean about it. for like half the book she's just so incredibly judgy at her public outreach job#she literally works at a zoo and has to learn hmmm... zoos need money??? zoos are also about... educating the public??? WHATT????#also it just felt so weird because she is constantly talking about how pale and skinny and pasty and scrawny and white she is#like constantly. and her best friend is a black trans woman who CONSTANTLY coddles and supports the mc in a very maternal way#and her love interest is latina-coded I'm pretty sure and is much more confident and opinionated and is literally described as fiery once#so like. hm! Okay! interesting! Interesting stereotypes going on tbh!!!#the mc learns some lessons and gets slightly less insufferable but like. also it was SO predictable I always knew what was gonna happen nex#and the writing style... like I said above it is MILLENNIAL and not in a fun way. the word boop is used several times. the humor is awful#the main character has multiple conversations about being so uwu bottom even though there's no sex in this book??? why??#and every single character description is repeated OVER and OVER with the same two details. SO much telling basically no showing#the writing was just so... quirky. ooooh look at me I'm awkward I trip over things I can't do make-up I love sitting on the couch!!!!#like. idk. obviously a lot of people really liked this book and I SHOULD have been one of them. Sapphic romance at a magic zoo....#but the execution was just so incredibly not my thing it actively pissed me off even if I can see what the author was trying to achieve#maybe I just don't like cozy fantasy. man. there was a bit where a guy should've gotten eaten by a kelpie but didn't. so maybe too cozy#for my tastes actually. which is weird I feel like I should enjoy cozy fantasy! especially about animals!!! but maybe this was just a fluke#anyways. to be clear I am not trying to make fun of the MC for having anxiety. just the overall way her social awkwardness was WRITTEN abou#really bothered me. idk man I'm a neurotic freak as well but I try to be NICE about it. and I have the correct zoo opinions. so.
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#personal#sometimes i wish i knew what it was like to be someone people want to talk to#or at least had students who could listen to what i say for just five minutes#god i hate yelling then they say thats all i do when if i talked normally no one fucking listens#then i take it way too hard when they say they dont like me when at least i stepped up to take their class#a class that had already ran off one teacher#but no im too useless because i actually make them do work and tried to have rules#last year was hard but at least i felt fulfilled by the end of the year with all my classes#i have never craved the end of the year so much or as much as i have this year#its not even both classes either its just this one that makes me dread working with them as much as they apparently hate me#sadly i can understand why their teacher left#and i know im not the best replacement since im learning how to teach them as they learn from me#but im just tired#its only a month left but i am so ready to never see any of them again#but depression does as it does and makes me question if im even good enough to get another job#one actually teaching my correct subject that i love#i hope like hell that i get a job and one i really want because i dont want to have to come back to this school#*it has the most substitute jobs#i dont like being loud even if no one believes me i dont like being mean though i know when i have too i just dont feel good enough#if i was i think i would have a job by now i mean im 28 and its been 5 schools in 5 years#sorry being sad on main#if you read this#thanks
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terfs when a study shows literally anything positive about trans people/transitioning: 'hm i think this requires some fact-checking. Were those researchers REALLY unbiased? Because if they were biased this doesn't count and if they weren't knowingly biased they probably were unconsciously biased, woke media affects so much these days. Have there been any other studies on this? Because if there haven't been this could be an outlier and if there have been and they all agree that's a bit odd, why aren't there any outliers, and if there have been and any disagree we really won't know the truth until we very thoroughly analyze them all, will we? Were there enough subjects for a good sample size? Did every single subject involved stay involved through the whole study because if they didn't we should be sure nothing shady was going on resulting in people dropping out. Are we 110% sure all the subjects were fully honest and at no point were embarrassed or afraid to admit they didn't love transitioning to the people in charge of their transition? Are we 110% sure none of the subjects were manipulated into thinking they were happy with their transition? In fact we should double-check what they think with their parents, because if the subjects and their parents disagree it's probably because they've been manipulated but their cis parents have not and are very unbiased. How many autistic subjects were there because if there weren't enough then this doesn't really study the overlap between autistic and trans and if there were too many then we just don't know enough about what causes that overlap to be sure this study really explains being trans and isn't just about being autistic. How many AFAB subjects were there because if there weren't enough this is just another example of prioritizing AMAB people and ignoring the different struggles of girls and women and if there were too many how do we know sexism didn't affect the results. Was the study double-blinded? We all know double-blinded is the most reliable so if this one wasn't that's a point against it even if the thesis literally physically could not be double-blinded. Look i'm not being transphobic, i want what's best for trans people! Really! But as a person who is not trans and therefore objective in a way they cannot possibly be, i just think we should only take into account Good Science here. You want to be following science and not being manipulated or experimented upon by something unscientific, right?'
terfs when they see a study of 45 subjects so old it predates modern criteria for gender dysphoria and basically uses 'idk her parents think she's too butch', run by a guy who practiced conversion therapy, 'confirmed' by a guy who treated the significant portion of subjects who didn't follow up as all desisting, definitely in the category of 'physically cannot double-blind this', completely contradicted by multiple other studies done on actual transgender subjects, but can be kinda cited as evidence against transitioning if you ignore everything else about it: 'oOOH SEE THIS IS WHAT WE'RE TALKIN BOUT. SCIENCE. Just good ol' unbiased thorough analysis. I see absolutely no reason to dig any deeper on this and if you think it's wrong you're the one being unscientific. It's really a shame you've been so thoroughly brainwashed by the trans agenda and can't even accept science when you see it. Maybe now that someone has finally uncovered this long-lost study from 1985, we can make some actual progress on the whole trans problem.'
#science#transphobia#cass review#less 'cass review' generally more 'zucker specifically' because this same problem exists outside cass#have lost count of the number of times i've seen 'well THAT study may have said most trans kids persist but it MUST be wrong'#'there's another study says the exact opposite. that one's right. obviously.'#but cass is why i'm annoyed by it now#normally i don't have a problem with critical observations and questions. yeah check your science! that's good!#there have been some bullshit studies and some bullshit interpretations of good studies! scientific literacy is important!#and normally also am willing to pretend the people pulling reaction 1 on some studies and reaction 2 on others are. not the same group.#but now there's a ton of cass supporters tryna say 'oh the cass review didn't reject or downplay anything for being pro-trans!'#'some studies just weren't given much weight for being poor evidence! not our fault those were all studies with results trans people like!'#…….………….aight explain why zucker's findings are used for the 'percentage of trans kids who don't stay trans' stat instead of anyone else's.#would've been more scientifically accurate to say 'yeah we just don't know.'#'studies have been done but none of them fit our crack criteria sooooo *shrug*'#like COME ON at least PRETEND you're genuinely checking scientific correctness and not looking for excuses to weed out undesirable results#am also mad about zucker in particular because his is possibly the most famous bullshit study#quite bluntly if you're doing trans research and think 'yeah this one seems reasonable' you. are maybe not well-informed enough for the job#there's just no way you genuinely look at the research with an eye toward accurate science regardless of personal bias#and walk away thinking 'hm that zucker fellow seems reasonable. competent scientists will respect that citation.'#that's one or two steps above doing a review of vaccine science and seriously citing wakefield's mmr-causes-autism study#it doesn't matter what the rest of your review says people are gonna have OPINIONS on that bit#and outside anti-vaxxers most of those opinions will be 'are you actually the most qualified for this because ummmm.'#people who agree with everything else will still think someone more competent could've done a much better job#people who disagree with everything else will point to that as proof you don't know shit and why should we listen to you#anyway i'd love a hugeass trans science review with actual fucking standards hmu if you know of one cause this ain't it#……does tumblr still put a limit on how many tags you can include guess me and my tag essay are about to find out.
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you can call out racism without using slurs or classist stereotypes...... seriously guys it's not that hard i swearrrr
#i generally disapprove of people who prioritise policing 'correct' language over actually helping people#but why have i just seen something that said ''tommy robinson and his band of [r-slur] huns are coming to [city] on 7th august''#like good job calling people to protest against them but like. we could do that without saying it like that 😭 come on man#🧃
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SENDING MY FIRST ASK FROM THE NEW BLOG!!!! i feel like i am sending a letter from a new address... crazy. ANYWAY HOW R U TONIGHT!!!! i hope ur havin a good day!!!! kicking my feet like a teenager at a sleepover rn tell me abt ur day who r the blorbos in ur mind rn what kinda art r u workin on lately how's it going friend!!!
HIIIIIII HI HI . HELLO SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG- i mean catboy cellbit!!! . dude i am. dreading the coming week tbh but it is fine !! we will get thru it we will survive!!! i am so sleepytired but alas i also cannot sleep so i may just have another night of reading and music ahead of me . wah. i hope u are hsving a good night <3 IVE BEEN COMPLETELY ART NERFED TOO BTW. my laptop died on me a couple days ago and while i was able to find a new one affordably it will not be here until the 13th 😔 so no digital art from me for a while. sigh. i DID just decorate my new sketchbook with stickers tho so im hoping that will get my brain in gear for traditional art again. AS FOR BLORBOS. oh . u know. the usuals. vash the stampede. zacharie from off . masky marblehornets (also tim marblehornets) . to name three of them.
#who are ur blorbos rn. i dont watch qsmp i think sering ur posts abt it are really funny bc im like. guy walks into the room on fire gif.#i have no idea whats going on in here congratulations and/or my condolences <3#thank u thank u i love the sleepover vibes. literally had gossip talk w one of my other friends earlier#(name withheld for reasons but if u see this u know who u are and i love u )#so the vibes are so correct#i have 2 work tomorrow :( not looking forward 2 that.#however it IS my last day of my long term overnight job which means i will be able to sleep in my own bed tomoerow night.#this is something i have not done for like. close to a month now. whcih is why ive been sleeping so awfully! so hopefully that fixes me#also have. job interview on wednesday for another aquarium place..#fingers crossed this goes better than my last one but also part of me is kind of hoping it doesnt go well#bc i hate transitional periods and i dont want 2 go thru the moving process again#and i dont want 2 meet a bunch of new ppl all at once again. and do the while job training thing.#alas that is the anxiety talkimg and i do actually want the job bc it would be good for me <3#sorry it is late and im soooo fucking sleepy so im rambling !!!! do not feel like u have to respond to . gestures vaguely at all that#its blorbo talk time. i desperately want 2 warch more mh right now#however the house im.staying in IS in the middle of the woods and very isolated and i have been so scared and paranoid#so i am OUTTA LUCK sigh. i will simply watch smth silly instead like gg tmph or david attenborough or perhaps spongebob will b on the tv.#asks#friends!!!#false-anachronism#<< oh fuck new url!!! i got like halfway thru typing ur old one before i was like WAIT SHIT.
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girlies I'm losing my mind.
#personal#vent#oh my goddddd#i thought my coworker and i were finally making decent progress on our project#that we have to present on THURSDAY MORNING#and this is the biggest project we need to do twice a year#only to find. at five fucking pm today. that she had not informed me we are resourcing two of our biggest fabric programs to a new supplier#which supplier? don't know#just know it's not going to be the one I've been planning for#and that the fabric program i DID want to resource#and had SPOKEN TO HER ABOUT TODAY#cannot go to the supplier I pencilled it in as#i don't know if she didn't know herself or just forgot or didn't care or didn't understand or what#for fuck's sake this is your job to know this stuff#don't just sit there looking gormless while i have to find out from YOUR BOSS#who then speaks to me in the most patronizing manner possible as she tells me she can't do my job for me#like motherfucker i just. need. correct. information. jesus christ.#also shout out to the big boss who last week was like tell me if you have any scheduling concerns guys!!!#and then when i told her today i have scheduling concerns because. uh. the fucking project is not going. anywhere. at this rate.#get told oh no sorry we can't do any schedule moves you can figure it out#like???? what???? was the point????? of asking us to come to you????#this is such a prolific fucking issue in my workplace and it drives me nuts#it's like management have heard these trite phrases on a managing people skills course somewhere#and not realised you need to back it up. with actual. actions.#also my manager whomst i loved is now on maternity leave and her replacement is someone i've worked with previously and. hm. suffice to say#she has not changed one bit#in regards to her complete inability to stand up for her team#i'm sure she has her good points but she's as supportive as a fucking wet paper towel#ignoring me trying to set boundaries on my time#but making sure SHE leaves on time for school pickup
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I'm being interviewed tomorrow about my job at the library and there is both great fear and excitement in my heart
#why am i so nervous fr#like i'm going to mess up an interview by getting an answer wrong? doesn't make sense#ah maybe the anxiety spikes before a workday because i know for a fact that i will be misgendered at LEAST 15 times a day#at this point it's actually inexcusable and ridiculous and i'll probably have to take it to my other supervisor#....................................... but i want a good chance at getting this job again in the summer#literally though my supervisor has absolutely zero excuse. sometimes i correct her upwards of 5 times in the same minute#and miraculously she forgets as soon as she hears it#or on the off-chance she takes the correction and goes 'HE!' and slaps her forehead she immediately then says '...they!'#like no. not 'they'. no. that is not what i said. it might have been what i said 5 months ago (he/they) but explicitly not now.#the only way i can be clearer with her is if i be a giant asshole about it#being on T is making my patience for misgendering just collapse lol. when i hear 'she' i'm like ??? who?? are you dumb??#and then i remember most people just don't know lol. but those who DO have zero excuse now. zero.#tell you what. i'll keep a tally tomorrow and report back!
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